I've added 2 new posts today, so go to the right hand pannel and select
Preparing for and Entering Khalytshia
and then read the next one,
Wait. Did you hear that?
Additional notes:
transition into a colored community tomorrow
Wed a community memeber asked us for help bc he just discovered that an 11 year old boy was raping his 4 year old sister.
Khalytshia is beautiful and i truly enjoy being there.
i have more stoties and time to tell (right now at least)
singing momma's on the train from Khay into Cape Town from 5:00am to 7:00am = HEAVEN.
PRAYER REQUESTS:
More strategies & creativity
He is the GOD of this city
For teammates to have supernatural and undeniable encounters with God
For the Spirit's guidance in processing what I'm taking in
love love love love. grace. having God use me to help remove people's fear of punishment and shame. to usher them into relationship with God
Connecting w my new host family
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Wait. Did you hear that?
We've been reading trauma narratives and talking about the importance of narratives and all they can cryptically communicate (...lllooooovveeee it! thought what was important for you to know before you read on).
This entry comes directly from my journal. I sat down on our day off and just started scribbling while in Cape Town and this is what came out.
This is rare- I'm inviting you in on the evolution of what will hopefully become a series of short stories from my time here. Usually I don't share the stories I write until after I've drafted several copies, re-ordered sections, actually completed them, polished them, worked on them for awhile, etc etc. SO, know this copied DIRECTLY from my journal without any edits (YET!).
This entry came on Monday afternoon after enter Khalytshia (see previous entry for more info) and being exposed to some crazy stuff. Things will definitely be taken out, added (like other sense and happy tones lol), etc but for now, welcome to what Anne Lammot calls a "shitty first draft" ;]
This blender of South Africa is as beautiful as it is confusing and today I'm learning to dance atop those sweet, sharp blades. Yesterday a woman followed us home, straight into the living room. It was awkward and clearly not right. But everyone moved forward, they even passed their little baby to this strange woman. She reveled in and revealed her wounded and wounding past. Parents dead. 3 kids. Lives alone. Left kids. 11 years HIV/AIDS positive. Suffering. Alcholism. Addicted to drugs. Thrives on killing herself at the local Shebeen. Numbing her pain one gulp at a time.
The women in my house asked if we had a problem with her being there. What does that mean? In 30 minutes, after entering the township only 90 minutes prior, the blend got cranked up! Then dance was foreign and accelerated, yet everyone knew the steps except me.
My senses became hyper-vigilant as I tried to follow their lead. Wait, she's drunk. Wait, they're allowing the 11 month old into her arms. Wait, they're feeding her. Wait, why are you telling me you left your kids and have AIDS? Wait, should I do something? Wait, someone help, I've lost sight of the lead. But wait, don't go, I don't want any problems. Wait, oh please wait!
Wait. Did you hear that? She awoke to the sound a husband's hand makes when it crashes into his wife's beautiful face. The wall doesn't go to the ceiling and one doesn't have to understand the township's mother-tongue to know what's happening between them. The closer the sun came to announcing a new day, the thicker the air became.
"Wait. Did you hear that?" I said to myself. I was on the kombi and had just explained that my Momma's sister had died a few days ago and I wanted to know what an appropriate show of care and condolence would be. These things vary between cultures, you know. She replied, "Shame..." a common response showing sadness, "Does she work for you?"
Wait. Did you hear that? Lean in closer and listen with your eyes. Do you hear that? I'm the only white woman inside a local SPAR in a township that was constructed as a resting place for black workers who service white homes kilometers away. It was formally established during Apartheid and now is considered an "informal settlement" consisting of found object homes.
Constructed of tin sheets and a piece of wood here and there, the homes sing. Each carries a different tune, which will vary by day, but the major chords from the Momma's organic community gardens clash violently with the minor chaos of the Shebeen and traditional healers of bad luck and small penises. The sounds multiply. They rise and fall with infinite complexity. Somehow harmony remains, even with 1,000 people being added each day.
Wait. Do you hear that? A momma, who I'd never seen before, just carried her grace and peace straight into my heart by crossing the street and approaching me with open arms and wrapping me up in an embrace. I didn't even see her until she was a couple meters away from me. Her hair was wrapped in the same material as her homemade dress. She carried a bag in her hand and the experiences of tragedy and joy on her face. I heard her heart, it sounded like the Father's, it said, "You are welcome here, this place I call home, and you are family to me. You've never seen this face, but you know Me, and I love you..."
Wait. Did you hear that? That man just said he was a pastor, then shook 2 of my friends' hands followed by a hug; but on the 3rd he shook her hand then grabbed her breast! Immediately, she pushed his hand away, looked down, and backed away while crossing her arms in front of her chest.
Wait. Did you hear that? Erik Taylor, an Afrikaner policeman during Apartheid, said he and his co-workers were incredible Christians. I would have guessed it as sarcasm has I not seen his sincere face. But wait? How could that be? He, along with a regime of Nationalism and propaganda, murdered hundreds of thousands in order to "'remain pure' like the Israelites had to in order to maintain their covenant with God so they could be His chosen people".
Wait. Did you hear that? "Mnuguuu!!! MNUGUU!!!!" the little kids giggled and declared! "White people! White people" they billowed from inside a pickup bed that was sitting on the ground, acting more like kraal than hauling bed. It literally means "dirty white sea foam". We waved and smiled, not quiet sure what to do because we are, indeed, white as the sand that makes their floor at night. We are, indeed, white as the invaders that raped their land, women, and humanity a few hundred years ago. We are, indeed, white at the people who raided these sections two decades ago and splattered bullets across their beautiful homes when scared. We are, indeed, white. But I am not only white, I am also an American. A person who is a millionaire from another galaxy that owns a few mansions and support a government that helped fund the Apartheid National Party and once put Bible verses on the cover page of Pentagon and Presidential military briefings. But, I am, indeed, more than skin, money, status, and nationality.
Wait. Did you hear that? Its the sound of a blanket muffling a lover's weeping. Its sound is tenderness. Its the piercing cries of a lover. Of a bride on her knees who is lovesick for her Bridegroom's return.
But wait. Did you hear that? Its the sound of exploitation. A foreigner has just stood up in their tour bus and clicked a picture of the zoo animals that inhabit the brighlty painted, shinny tinned, but usually rusted found object homes of Khalytshia. Its as close as most white people get... 6 feet above and behind 3 inches of glass, gawking as if these were creatures to behold and stare at from a distance. The white locals' fear has infected these foreigns. The seed they planted has grown and the guilt and confusion this poor foreign feels will only reinforce the problem because when he gets home he'll write a check and support a buffer charity. A well-indented organization, but deeply flawed because it perpetuates a humanLESS exchange where facts and figures reign supreme. Step into the community, invite more into your heart.
But wait. Did you hear that? Its the heavy breath of a spirit expressed. Its the sigh of a full belly and a longing heart. "What does the Lord require of you? To act justly, love mercy and walk humbly before your God." Micah 6:8 Give bread to those who are hungry. Give hunger for justice to those who have bread. Its the moan of my stomach when it changes place with my throat, causing my palms to become clammy and eyes moist. Its the battle cry of an EZER covered, in His blood, to rounding the Saints, listening to the instructions from the Lord of the Angel Armies who will do abundantly more than she asks. For His way is love and justice. Truth and Grace. There is freedom where He is and peace is His wake. She looks into His burning and tender eyes, He places His hand on her heart, and she joins with the saints in declaring, proclaiming, and bringing His kingdom. On earth as it is in Heaven. Battling with all the strength Hes given her and begging for more because she knows before the sun announced another new tomorrow thousands of women will begin their day with the branding mark of their husband's hand somewhere on their body.
This entry comes directly from my journal. I sat down on our day off and just started scribbling while in Cape Town and this is what came out.
This is rare- I'm inviting you in on the evolution of what will hopefully become a series of short stories from my time here. Usually I don't share the stories I write until after I've drafted several copies, re-ordered sections, actually completed them, polished them, worked on them for awhile, etc etc. SO, know this copied DIRECTLY from my journal without any edits (YET!).
This entry came on Monday afternoon after enter Khalytshia (see previous entry for more info) and being exposed to some crazy stuff. Things will definitely be taken out, added (like other sense and happy tones lol), etc but for now, welcome to what Anne Lammot calls a "shitty first draft" ;]
This blender of South Africa is as beautiful as it is confusing and today I'm learning to dance atop those sweet, sharp blades. Yesterday a woman followed us home, straight into the living room. It was awkward and clearly not right. But everyone moved forward, they even passed their little baby to this strange woman. She reveled in and revealed her wounded and wounding past. Parents dead. 3 kids. Lives alone. Left kids. 11 years HIV/AIDS positive. Suffering. Alcholism. Addicted to drugs. Thrives on killing herself at the local Shebeen. Numbing her pain one gulp at a time.
The women in my house asked if we had a problem with her being there. What does that mean? In 30 minutes, after entering the township only 90 minutes prior, the blend got cranked up! Then dance was foreign and accelerated, yet everyone knew the steps except me.
My senses became hyper-vigilant as I tried to follow their lead. Wait, she's drunk. Wait, they're allowing the 11 month old into her arms. Wait, they're feeding her. Wait, why are you telling me you left your kids and have AIDS? Wait, should I do something? Wait, someone help, I've lost sight of the lead. But wait, don't go, I don't want any problems. Wait, oh please wait!
Wait. Did you hear that? She awoke to the sound a husband's hand makes when it crashes into his wife's beautiful face. The wall doesn't go to the ceiling and one doesn't have to understand the township's mother-tongue to know what's happening between them. The closer the sun came to announcing a new day, the thicker the air became.
"Wait. Did you hear that?" I said to myself. I was on the kombi and had just explained that my Momma's sister had died a few days ago and I wanted to know what an appropriate show of care and condolence would be. These things vary between cultures, you know. She replied, "Shame..." a common response showing sadness, "Does she work for you?"
Wait. Did you hear that? Lean in closer and listen with your eyes. Do you hear that? I'm the only white woman inside a local SPAR in a township that was constructed as a resting place for black workers who service white homes kilometers away. It was formally established during Apartheid and now is considered an "informal settlement" consisting of found object homes.
Constructed of tin sheets and a piece of wood here and there, the homes sing. Each carries a different tune, which will vary by day, but the major chords from the Momma's organic community gardens clash violently with the minor chaos of the Shebeen and traditional healers of bad luck and small penises. The sounds multiply. They rise and fall with infinite complexity. Somehow harmony remains, even with 1,000 people being added each day.
Wait. Do you hear that? A momma, who I'd never seen before, just carried her grace and peace straight into my heart by crossing the street and approaching me with open arms and wrapping me up in an embrace. I didn't even see her until she was a couple meters away from me. Her hair was wrapped in the same material as her homemade dress. She carried a bag in her hand and the experiences of tragedy and joy on her face. I heard her heart, it sounded like the Father's, it said, "You are welcome here, this place I call home, and you are family to me. You've never seen this face, but you know Me, and I love you..."
Wait. Did you hear that? That man just said he was a pastor, then shook 2 of my friends' hands followed by a hug; but on the 3rd he shook her hand then grabbed her breast! Immediately, she pushed his hand away, looked down, and backed away while crossing her arms in front of her chest.
Wait. Did you hear that? Erik Taylor, an Afrikaner policeman during Apartheid, said he and his co-workers were incredible Christians. I would have guessed it as sarcasm has I not seen his sincere face. But wait? How could that be? He, along with a regime of Nationalism and propaganda, murdered hundreds of thousands in order to "'remain pure' like the Israelites had to in order to maintain their covenant with God so they could be His chosen people".
Wait. Did you hear that? "Mnuguuu!!! MNUGUU!!!!" the little kids giggled and declared! "White people! White people" they billowed from inside a pickup bed that was sitting on the ground, acting more like kraal than hauling bed. It literally means "dirty white sea foam". We waved and smiled, not quiet sure what to do because we are, indeed, white as the sand that makes their floor at night. We are, indeed, white as the invaders that raped their land, women, and humanity a few hundred years ago. We are, indeed, white at the people who raided these sections two decades ago and splattered bullets across their beautiful homes when scared. We are, indeed, white. But I am not only white, I am also an American. A person who is a millionaire from another galaxy that owns a few mansions and support a government that helped fund the Apartheid National Party and once put Bible verses on the cover page of Pentagon and Presidential military briefings. But, I am, indeed, more than skin, money, status, and nationality.
Wait. Did you hear that? Its the sound of a blanket muffling a lover's weeping. Its sound is tenderness. Its the piercing cries of a lover. Of a bride on her knees who is lovesick for her Bridegroom's return.
But wait. Did you hear that? Its the sound of exploitation. A foreigner has just stood up in their tour bus and clicked a picture of the zoo animals that inhabit the brighlty painted, shinny tinned, but usually rusted found object homes of Khalytshia. Its as close as most white people get... 6 feet above and behind 3 inches of glass, gawking as if these were creatures to behold and stare at from a distance. The white locals' fear has infected these foreigns. The seed they planted has grown and the guilt and confusion this poor foreign feels will only reinforce the problem because when he gets home he'll write a check and support a buffer charity. A well-indented organization, but deeply flawed because it perpetuates a humanLESS exchange where facts and figures reign supreme. Step into the community, invite more into your heart.
But wait. Did you hear that? Its the heavy breath of a spirit expressed. Its the sigh of a full belly and a longing heart. "What does the Lord require of you? To act justly, love mercy and walk humbly before your God." Micah 6:8 Give bread to those who are hungry. Give hunger for justice to those who have bread. Its the moan of my stomach when it changes place with my throat, causing my palms to become clammy and eyes moist. Its the battle cry of an EZER covered, in His blood, to rounding the Saints, listening to the instructions from the Lord of the Angel Armies who will do abundantly more than she asks. For His way is love and justice. Truth and Grace. There is freedom where He is and peace is His wake. She looks into His burning and tender eyes, He places His hand on her heart, and she joins with the saints in declaring, proclaiming, and bringing His kingdom. On earth as it is in Heaven. Battling with all the strength Hes given her and begging for more because she knows before the sun announced another new tomorrow thousands of women will begin their day with the branding mark of their husband's hand somewhere on their body.
Preparing for & Entering Khayelitsha
In this Intensive nearly everything happens FAST- we read books in a day or two, write papers in a couple days, swap families every 7 days, ride in crazy kombis, are exposed to things that break my heart and things that enlarge it to love and hope for more- it is nonstop. I feel like I'm constanly hyper-villigent to my surroundings bc I'm always picking up cues, sorting what's a cultural difference and what's danger, etc etc. So, we had last Monday afternoon off because we'd just transitioned from Langa into Khalyteshia the group needed a break, bad. I'm going to put a couple of my journal entries straigh on the blog because its raw, its real, and i don't have time to create something specifically for the blog. Like I said, things happen fast and we/I don't & can't control any of it- from housing to transportation to how much and what we eat.
Here are are some "facts" I was given before I moved out of Langa and into Khayletshia, hopefully this will give you a bit of context for the narratives entry.
19 June 2010
NOTES OF KHAYELITSHA
+ Population increased by ~ 1,000 people per day
+ 2.5 million people
+ Residents mostly from the Eastern Cape
+ More Found Object Homes
+ Less English profeciency
+ Longer commute time to Cape Town (90mins-ish) bc traffic
+ we stayed in Herare and did internships in community gardens, soup kitchens, and EduCare
+ Most whites will never enter this township
+ Established (pre-1994) as "housing" quarters outside white areas to service the suburbs
+ "Generation further back" that Langa
+ Were paired with a youth (HS age)
+ rotate roomates for 4th time
+ 5 minutes to transition between good-bye forever from Langa to hello new family in K
Helpful Xhosa Phrases
(spelled the way i hear them lol)
Molo= greetings/hello
Molowini= hello informal (or plurual?)
Enjohnie= how are you?
Enpeedelay= I am well
Engosie= thank you
Ayoba= cool/great
IMMEDIATE OBSERVATIONS UPON ENTERING:
Lots and lots of found object homes
sand
"Traditional Healers" for bad luck, lost lovers, and small pensises
Pro-Active Mommas
Internships
Poverty
No racial diversity
Found Object homes horizon to horizon
No luxuries- toliet seat, stove, indoor water, etc
Paved roads with curbs==>? government involvment
Xhosa speaking
Always tea & coffee
Dk Address
Steam bread
Haven't had much time to write, but have been diliegent in carving at least 20minutes 5 days a week. More on off days. The next blog entry will come straight from my journal...
Here are are some "facts" I was given before I moved out of Langa and into Khayletshia, hopefully this will give you a bit of context for the narratives entry.
19 June 2010
NOTES OF KHAYELITSHA
+ Population increased by ~ 1,000 people per day
+ 2.5 million people
+ Residents mostly from the Eastern Cape
+ More Found Object Homes
+ Less English profeciency
+ Longer commute time to Cape Town (90mins-ish) bc traffic
+ we stayed in Herare and did internships in community gardens, soup kitchens, and EduCare
+ Most whites will never enter this township
+ Established (pre-1994) as "housing" quarters outside white areas to service the suburbs
+ "Generation further back" that Langa
+ Were paired with a youth (HS age)
+ rotate roomates for 4th time
+ 5 minutes to transition between good-bye forever from Langa to hello new family in K
Helpful Xhosa Phrases
(spelled the way i hear them lol)
Molo= greetings/hello
Molowini= hello informal (or plurual?)
Enjohnie= how are you?
Enpeedelay= I am well
Engosie= thank you
Ayoba= cool/great
IMMEDIATE OBSERVATIONS UPON ENTERING:
Lots and lots of found object homes
sand
"Traditional Healers" for bad luck, lost lovers, and small pensises
Pro-Active Mommas
Internships
Poverty
No racial diversity
Found Object homes horizon to horizon
No luxuries- toliet seat, stove, indoor water, etc
Paved roads with curbs==>? government involvment
Xhosa speaking
Always tea & coffee
Dk Address
Steam bread
Haven't had much time to write, but have been diliegent in carving at least 20minutes 5 days a week. More on off days. The next blog entry will come straight from my journal...
Saturday, June 19, 2010
moving + turbulence
I move into Khalytshia Sunday after going to church with my host family in Langa. I'll have approx 5 minutes to transition from saying goodbye to my Langa host family to hello to my Hereade host family... that will be challenging for me because I love deeply and the finiteness of these stays are challenging. Its helped me shift my perspective to viewing nearly every interaction as "sacred" but its still hard to almost always know nothing. I am constantly learning with what often seems like a vertical learning curve.
We're dealing with incredibly charged topics mainly revolving around politics and religion. These get heated! We had a team check-in the other afternoon because things are getting so intense that some team members have started altering their behaviours to cope with the things we're learning and going through. It is a very intense program, on multiple levels. After one of our class sessions one of our directors said, "You need to struggle with the turbulence of your feelings." Man, I tell you what, that is right on. Somedays its like an emotional rollercoaster and I have no idea how people who don't believe in Christ are able to process and deal with what we're learning and doing. They aren't going to reach over and "make us feel better" either, which is good because it allows us to go through the full PROCESS of everything. We can learn in and from our emotions... I am very fortunate to be led by directors who value and encourage that.
The biblical idea of the lion and the lamb laying next to each other was brought up the other day and I really enjoyed it because it one our directors used that example to illustrate how each person needs to be themselves, fully themselves, and still live in harmony. Granted, it was just an illustration point, I liked it.
Oh and SA does not have 1/2 the beans it takes to make Mom's Chili, but I improvised and it turned out well :D they'd never had chili, so that helped too, but it actually was a hit! My host family had also never had sour cream, which i add to individual bowls of chili, and they liked that too! We've been swapping recipes etc, so i'm ready to COOOOOOOK when i get back to AZ!!
I have to run because its my last night with my host family in Langa and its the shortest day of the year here in SA, so the sun is setting and I'm traveling solo and want to get back before nightfall. But here's the real reason I wanted to write today...
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DAD! I love you and am proud to be your daughter :D thanks for the prayers and believing in me and how God's working in and through me!!!! I love you! Remember to open the card i left with yoU!
We're dealing with incredibly charged topics mainly revolving around politics and religion. These get heated! We had a team check-in the other afternoon because things are getting so intense that some team members have started altering their behaviours to cope with the things we're learning and going through. It is a very intense program, on multiple levels. After one of our class sessions one of our directors said, "You need to struggle with the turbulence of your feelings." Man, I tell you what, that is right on. Somedays its like an emotional rollercoaster and I have no idea how people who don't believe in Christ are able to process and deal with what we're learning and doing. They aren't going to reach over and "make us feel better" either, which is good because it allows us to go through the full PROCESS of everything. We can learn in and from our emotions... I am very fortunate to be led by directors who value and encourage that.
The biblical idea of the lion and the lamb laying next to each other was brought up the other day and I really enjoyed it because it one our directors used that example to illustrate how each person needs to be themselves, fully themselves, and still live in harmony. Granted, it was just an illustration point, I liked it.
Oh and SA does not have 1/2 the beans it takes to make Mom's Chili, but I improvised and it turned out well :D they'd never had chili, so that helped too, but it actually was a hit! My host family had also never had sour cream, which i add to individual bowls of chili, and they liked that too! We've been swapping recipes etc, so i'm ready to COOOOOOOK when i get back to AZ!!
I have to run because its my last night with my host family in Langa and its the shortest day of the year here in SA, so the sun is setting and I'm traveling solo and want to get back before nightfall. But here's the real reason I wanted to write today...
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DAD! I love you and am proud to be your daughter :D thanks for the prayers and believing in me and how God's working in and through me!!!! I love you! Remember to open the card i left with yoU!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
fragments
Howsit?
I don't have much time and i have about 8 billion things rolling around in my head, but here's a new notes:
People only participate/are listened to as much as they are valued
You will only listen to what you value
Art moves us from the mechanical
Long shadow of colonialism and poverty
Here are a few surface level updates:
seen my first troupe of wild baboons
seen the closest relative to the elephant, it looks like a cross between a cat and a beaver
The interior tension, living in the terrible beautiful, is more intense than anything I've ever experienced and we're only beginning
I now understand a bit more of what it means to be lovesick for Christ
Pray for God to give me new strategies, creativity, and imagination. His love never fails and He works EVERYthing out for our good.
I love the community in Langa
I played street soccer for hours yesterday after class... behind on my reading, but I have lots of friends now :] the Langa boys on Harlem street (where I'm staying) are great!!!
I'm cooking my mom's chili on Thursday :D its winter and can get damp + cold. Plus, South African's don't close windows or doors, they say it makes the room to stuffy and air stale. so, I usually wear at least 3 layers :] tea, chutney, and scarves are my new faves
The Spirit is doing some CRAZY things here, I'm simply going as directed and doing my best to love well as lead by my heart, not my head... in all things.
I'm learning a bit of Xhosa (sounds like k oa saa) and Afrikaans (its like Dutch, German, w a British accent lol), I'm tyring but I'm still really bad at languages lol signing anyone?
Bafana Bafana (the boys, they boys), SA name for their soccer team, is playing tonight, I'm in Cape Town, took the kombi in from Langa, the city can FEEL THE FEVER!! haha so fun!
I'm on my 2nd fountain pen refill and 1/4 way through my journal, so I'm writing quiet a bit these days, but don't have the time to select and share a piece right now. Maybe this wkend or nxt week if i get a day off to come to the internet cafe?
Thank you for your prayers and for commenting on my posts, it is VERY VERY encouraging to know people are praying for me and the group, especially as we engage in incredibly difficult issues. The other day I wrote and passionately cried out to God for a few hours, He truly is breaking my heart for His purposes and showing me how I can partner with Heaven... aligning my thoughts and dreams with His highest values and purposes! I am in love with my Beloved and He's igniting every bit of how He has created me as I process and journey. INTENSE.
Pray for God to give me new strategies, creativity, and imagination.
I don't have much time and i have about 8 billion things rolling around in my head, but here's a new notes:
People only participate/are listened to as much as they are valued
You will only listen to what you value
Art moves us from the mechanical
Long shadow of colonialism and poverty
Here are a few surface level updates:
seen my first troupe of wild baboons
seen the closest relative to the elephant, it looks like a cross between a cat and a beaver
The interior tension, living in the terrible beautiful, is more intense than anything I've ever experienced and we're only beginning
I now understand a bit more of what it means to be lovesick for Christ
Pray for God to give me new strategies, creativity, and imagination. His love never fails and He works EVERYthing out for our good.
I love the community in Langa
I played street soccer for hours yesterday after class... behind on my reading, but I have lots of friends now :] the Langa boys on Harlem street (where I'm staying) are great!!!
I'm cooking my mom's chili on Thursday :D its winter and can get damp + cold. Plus, South African's don't close windows or doors, they say it makes the room to stuffy and air stale. so, I usually wear at least 3 layers :] tea, chutney, and scarves are my new faves
The Spirit is doing some CRAZY things here, I'm simply going as directed and doing my best to love well as lead by my heart, not my head... in all things.
I'm learning a bit of Xhosa (sounds like k oa saa) and Afrikaans (its like Dutch, German, w a British accent lol), I'm tyring but I'm still really bad at languages lol signing anyone?
Bafana Bafana (the boys, they boys), SA name for their soccer team, is playing tonight, I'm in Cape Town, took the kombi in from Langa, the city can FEEL THE FEVER!! haha so fun!
I'm on my 2nd fountain pen refill and 1/4 way through my journal, so I'm writing quiet a bit these days, but don't have the time to select and share a piece right now. Maybe this wkend or nxt week if i get a day off to come to the internet cafe?
Thank you for your prayers and for commenting on my posts, it is VERY VERY encouraging to know people are praying for me and the group, especially as we engage in incredibly difficult issues. The other day I wrote and passionately cried out to God for a few hours, He truly is breaking my heart for His purposes and showing me how I can partner with Heaven... aligning my thoughts and dreams with His highest values and purposes! I am in love with my Beloved and He's igniting every bit of how He has created me as I process and journey. INTENSE.
Pray for God to give me new strategies, creativity, and imagination.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The Plunge
South Africa is truly a beautiful country. As seemingly contradictory as it may be at times I am REALLY REALLY REALLY enjoying my time here!
I want to give you an update from the last time, give you a few thoughts, and share one experience with you. (this experience is very fresh and i haven't had time to work with it, so know its raw and not in neat narrative form yet) Much more has happened, but this is all I can fit in right now.
UPDATES:
+ group dynamics are coming along nicely, especially after an exercises where we built a table from found objects... a charged, semi-chaotic, and great learning experience! much much more to that, but thank you for your prayers, the team is beginning to form because we are beginning to get to know one another
+ violence takes no imagination or creativity.
+ the more years we add, the more limits (shout out to Katrina for saying something similar to this before)
+ all the layers have meaning, even if we don't see them (Gordon, our director, in passing during a morning session)
Imagining what we're for. Dreaming, believing, and acting (as empowered by the Spirit) toward a future that is whole.
Two days ago we took "The Plunge". It is a day in Cape Town, Camps Bay, Herada (area of khayelitsha) that is completely self-directed. Teri & Gordon want us to feel agency. To begin our stay with curiosity, to be primal again by experiencing SA through our senses. We were split into teams of 3 and sent out to navigate all by ourselves. First we were dropped off somewhere in the city and had to ask for directions on how to get to our starting point. The purpose was to have us interact with all sorts of people, begin to form a mental map of the area, and have FUUUUUUN! We went to the city center and asked for directions to the GrandeKombi (a 17ish passenger, rickety van-like vehicle) to khayelitsha. We asked a man standing near a taxi in the city center. He repeatedly asked where we were going to ensure he heard us correctly. We repeatedly have teh same response. Still, though, he didn't point us in a direction; rather, he asked us what country we were from. Hesitantly, "The United States", I answered. By now another black man has come up and they both started laughing. I assumed it was because I was white and asking for directions to a Kombi to catch a ride into the townships. The two men replied by informing us that were white foreigners/tourists and that we shouldn't be going there.
We pressed the question and they replied by saying we should take a taxi because it wasn't safe. Convenient, i thought, of course you'd want me to take a taxi... you're the taxi driver! He continued, "I don't say this because I drive taxi. You don't have to take mine." The first man butted in, "You are white Americans, they will take advantage of you. You are not from here, I was born here, I know. It is not safe. You need a guide. Take a taxi." The 2nd man butted in again with more mocking laughter. "They are all dark skinned!!!!"
"Okay." I plainly replied with a shrug.
"OOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Look at you," glaring at Chris' white nikes, "You'll all go home bare foot! Then he touched my raincoat and said, "Oh and your nice coat, they'll strip that right off you!!!"
"Okay, I understand and I trust you are telling me the truth," I said with complete sincerity, "But which way to the Kombis? We're going to Herede."
The first man began again, "They'll steal everything you have"
"Yeah," the 2nd man started in, "Go leave all your belongings in the hotel."
"Don't go." the 1st man repeated.
So here we are, 3 obviously white foreigners, being persuaded by 2 black locals to avoid HeredeKombis ti takes to get there at all costs!
"Thank you for your concern, sir." I say as we back away to exit what is becoming a disagreement. Finally, he points down the pedestrian street behind us, "Follow this all the way down and take a left." The end of his sentence screamed YOU STUPID, FOOLISH AMERICANS! YOU'RE IGNORANT AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE GETTING INTO!!
We thanked him as we turned to walk down the path. One of the other two began expressing his anxiety about the situation we were putting ourselves in, so I tried to calm him by telling him I was carrying pepper spray (as recommended by a local), but that I didn't think we'd need it. Well, I sorta tried to ease his fears because not 50 yards later I told him how screw drivers and ice pics were the weapons of choice down here because their ease of use and depth of impact. I reminded him of my favorite risky situation line, "Don't be scared but don't be stupid."
We wound our way around to the crazy Kombi lines at the Grande Parade adn navigated our way to a Kombi to Herede. Kombi's are like buses, in that you pay a flat fee; are like ballpark baseball dogs, in that you pass your money up and change back; and are like pickle jars in that you're PACKED tight! Every single person was black. I tried to sit next to a local and have a conversation, but the woman didn't seem interested. I tried to initiate a conversation by asking, "How are you today," but it didn't work. Twelve to fifteen minutes into the trip she began to nod off and in her relaxed state she would occasionally lean back and touch my shoulder with hers. When his happened she immediately jerked forward. I wanted so badly to tell her its okay for her to rest on my shoulder, or to gently place my hand on her shoulder and direct it backwards towards mine. I wanted her to know that I'm a friend (or at least not a meanie), that she doesn't have to flinch away from me. But I didn't because I didn't want to wake her up or cross come cultural barrier that I didn't know existed. We rode on, occasionally touching shoulders, but never for long.
Eventually, she got out and the rest of the Kombi exited, but we were still riding. Oops! Unlike the US there are no "stops" its just get out wherever you want (sidenote: like today for instance, Spencer and I got dropped off on the highway between and entrance and exit ramp on a highway junction/round-a-bout! LOL we looked at each other, like uhhhh, how do we get out of here alive? lol real life frogger i guess lol) So we were the only ones remaining and the driver asked and helped us get things sorted out, we had actually passed where we wanted to go. Fast forward a bit (for times sake bc i dont have that much long at the Internet cafe) and we were walking through the township. The miles of "found object homes", beautiful as could be, as contradictory as could be (for historical reasons). These men, women, and children were absolutely kind and welcoming to us.
We had to walk into a "store" and try to find a specific item, and I must say that is the first time I have ever been 'triple glanced' at. I did not feel threatened but it was as if the half the store looked up and asked, "What are you doing here?????" Another group experienced a person say, "What the fuck is going on?" As if it took some big reason for a white person to enter the township. Another group also had a woman take them by the hand, lead them through the maze of "streets" and introduce them to her family. She literally dropped everything she was doing and showed them around. She gave them lunch, although she had none of her own, and said hi to everyone on her way. Now, does this sound like the savage, villains we'd been warned about earlier? Not one person lurked behind us, or even tried to pedal us for money. Not one person. Rather, they took our hand and invited us in. They made sure we got to where we needed to go. They spoke with other drivers for us to make sure we were going the right way (granted, it was while he was driving and put it his head out the window to talk to the other driver who had hence stuck his head out the window and removed their eyes from the road, but hey, it worked! lol) It has been said khayelitsha is not visible until a white person comes there. ... heartbreaking...
I am most excited about our relocation into Khayelitsha.
Tomorrow, weather permitting, we will hike Table Mountain.
Wkend= farm stay & briaa
6+ wks to follow = Langa & K
4 days back in CT
(then to Joburg! oh and for those who are waiting to hear, I don't have that ticket yet, I'll let you know ASAP)
Thank you for your prayers, please continue with these requests & praises:
!+ good team bonding, to increase on farm stay
!+ expanding, deepening, and softening my heart (and the groups)
!+ I've been commissioned to collect and write our group's narrative, both individual and as whole!!!!
+ fresh ways to communicate
+ for a conversation with our B&B owners about who Christ is to them
+ to engage in and enjoy the PROCESS, both mine and others
+ to value people by really listening well
+ for more
God is ROCKING my world and speaking to me on nearly (if not every) level of my life :D LOOOOOOVE HIM!
no time to spellcheck, so sorry. hugs & prayers, much love :] its wonderful here! Parade, where we would catch a and the
I want to give you an update from the last time, give you a few thoughts, and share one experience with you. (this experience is very fresh and i haven't had time to work with it, so know its raw and not in neat narrative form yet) Much more has happened, but this is all I can fit in right now.
UPDATES:
+ group dynamics are coming along nicely, especially after an exercises where we built a table from found objects... a charged, semi-chaotic, and great learning experience! much much more to that, but thank you for your prayers, the team is beginning to form because we are beginning to get to know one another
+ violence takes no imagination or creativity.
+ the more years we add, the more limits (shout out to Katrina for saying something similar to this before)
+ all the layers have meaning, even if we don't see them (Gordon, our director, in passing during a morning session)
Imagining what we're for. Dreaming, believing, and acting (as empowered by the Spirit) toward a future that is whole.
Two days ago we took "The Plunge". It is a day in Cape Town, Camps Bay, Herada (area of khayelitsha) that is completely self-directed. Teri & Gordon want us to feel agency. To begin our stay with curiosity, to be primal again by experiencing SA through our senses. We were split into teams of 3 and sent out to navigate all by ourselves. First we were dropped off somewhere in the city and had to ask for directions on how to get to our starting point. The purpose was to have us interact with all sorts of people, begin to form a mental map of the area, and have FUUUUUUN! We went to the city center and asked for directions to the GrandeKombi (a 17ish passenger, rickety van-like vehicle) to khayelitsha. We asked a man standing near a taxi in the city center. He repeatedly asked where we were going to ensure he heard us correctly. We repeatedly have teh same response. Still, though, he didn't point us in a direction; rather, he asked us what country we were from. Hesitantly, "The United States", I answered. By now another black man has come up and they both started laughing. I assumed it was because I was white and asking for directions to a Kombi to catch a ride into the townships. The two men replied by informing us that were white foreigners/tourists and that we shouldn't be going there.
We pressed the question and they replied by saying we should take a taxi because it wasn't safe. Convenient, i thought, of course you'd want me to take a taxi... you're the taxi driver! He continued, "I don't say this because I drive taxi. You don't have to take mine." The first man butted in, "You are white Americans, they will take advantage of you. You are not from here, I was born here, I know. It is not safe. You need a guide. Take a taxi." The 2nd man butted in again with more mocking laughter. "They are all dark skinned!!!!"
"Okay." I plainly replied with a shrug.
"OOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Look at you," glaring at Chris' white nikes, "You'll all go home bare foot! Then he touched my raincoat and said, "Oh and your nice coat, they'll strip that right off you!!!"
"Okay, I understand and I trust you are telling me the truth," I said with complete sincerity, "But which way to the Kombis? We're going to Herede."
The first man began again, "They'll steal everything you have"
"Yeah," the 2nd man started in, "Go leave all your belongings in the hotel."
"Don't go." the 1st man repeated.
So here we are, 3 obviously white foreigners, being persuaded by 2 black locals to avoid HeredeKombis ti takes to get there at all costs!
"Thank you for your concern, sir." I say as we back away to exit what is becoming a disagreement. Finally, he points down the pedestrian street behind us, "Follow this all the way down and take a left." The end of his sentence screamed YOU STUPID, FOOLISH AMERICANS! YOU'RE IGNORANT AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE GETTING INTO!!
We thanked him as we turned to walk down the path. One of the other two began expressing his anxiety about the situation we were putting ourselves in, so I tried to calm him by telling him I was carrying pepper spray (as recommended by a local), but that I didn't think we'd need it. Well, I sorta tried to ease his fears because not 50 yards later I told him how screw drivers and ice pics were the weapons of choice down here because their ease of use and depth of impact. I reminded him of my favorite risky situation line, "Don't be scared but don't be stupid."
We wound our way around to the crazy Kombi lines at the Grande Parade adn navigated our way to a Kombi to Herede. Kombi's are like buses, in that you pay a flat fee; are like ballpark baseball dogs, in that you pass your money up and change back; and are like pickle jars in that you're PACKED tight! Every single person was black. I tried to sit next to a local and have a conversation, but the woman didn't seem interested. I tried to initiate a conversation by asking, "How are you today," but it didn't work. Twelve to fifteen minutes into the trip she began to nod off and in her relaxed state she would occasionally lean back and touch my shoulder with hers. When his happened she immediately jerked forward. I wanted so badly to tell her its okay for her to rest on my shoulder, or to gently place my hand on her shoulder and direct it backwards towards mine. I wanted her to know that I'm a friend (or at least not a meanie), that she doesn't have to flinch away from me. But I didn't because I didn't want to wake her up or cross come cultural barrier that I didn't know existed. We rode on, occasionally touching shoulders, but never for long.
Eventually, she got out and the rest of the Kombi exited, but we were still riding. Oops! Unlike the US there are no "stops" its just get out wherever you want (sidenote: like today for instance, Spencer and I got dropped off on the highway between and entrance and exit ramp on a highway junction/round-a-bout! LOL we looked at each other, like uhhhh, how do we get out of here alive? lol real life frogger i guess lol) So we were the only ones remaining and the driver asked and helped us get things sorted out, we had actually passed where we wanted to go. Fast forward a bit (for times sake bc i dont have that much long at the Internet cafe) and we were walking through the township. The miles of "found object homes", beautiful as could be, as contradictory as could be (for historical reasons). These men, women, and children were absolutely kind and welcoming to us.
We had to walk into a "store" and try to find a specific item, and I must say that is the first time I have ever been 'triple glanced' at. I did not feel threatened but it was as if the half the store looked up and asked, "What are you doing here?????" Another group experienced a person say, "What the fuck is going on?" As if it took some big reason for a white person to enter the township. Another group also had a woman take them by the hand, lead them through the maze of "streets" and introduce them to her family. She literally dropped everything she was doing and showed them around. She gave them lunch, although she had none of her own, and said hi to everyone on her way. Now, does this sound like the savage, villains we'd been warned about earlier? Not one person lurked behind us, or even tried to pedal us for money. Not one person. Rather, they took our hand and invited us in. They made sure we got to where we needed to go. They spoke with other drivers for us to make sure we were going the right way (granted, it was while he was driving and put it his head out the window to talk to the other driver who had hence stuck his head out the window and removed their eyes from the road, but hey, it worked! lol) It has been said khayelitsha is not visible until a white person comes there. ... heartbreaking...
I am most excited about our relocation into Khayelitsha.
Tomorrow, weather permitting, we will hike Table Mountain.
Wkend= farm stay & briaa
6+ wks to follow = Langa & K
4 days back in CT
(then to Joburg! oh and for those who are waiting to hear, I don't have that ticket yet, I'll let you know ASAP)
Thank you for your prayers, please continue with these requests & praises:
!+ good team bonding, to increase on farm stay
!+ expanding, deepening, and softening my heart (and the groups)
!+ I've been commissioned to collect and write our group's narrative, both individual and as whole!!!!
+ fresh ways to communicate
+ for a conversation with our B&B owners about who Christ is to them
+ to engage in and enjoy the PROCESS, both mine and others
+ to value people by really listening well
+ for more
God is ROCKING my world and speaking to me on nearly (if not every) level of my life :D LOOOOOOVE HIM!
no time to spellcheck, so sorry. hugs & prayers, much love :] its wonderful here! Parade, where we would catch a and the
Friday, June 4, 2010
jet lag & home
Hello!
After a 5.5 hour train ride from Boston to a 3 hour wait at a JFK ticketing counter to a 15 hour plane ride to Joburg to another 2 hour flight to Cape Town we're finally here! I must admit, it still doesn't seem quiet real, but as the jet lag wears off i think I will LOVE this place.
Today we met our 2nd director, Gordon, for the first time :] He is deep waters and a tender and brilliant man, I am excited to learn from him! We then loaded up the vans and drove into the city to where we will be staying for the next 2 wks, a B&B blocks away from the city center. After a much needed shower and change of clothes we all met and walked around the city, Gordon and Teri helping orient us so we could build a mental map. It was foggy today, so we didn't see Table Mt just yet, but tomorrow I'm hoping! On the way from teh airport i saw my first "Found Object Homes" aka tin shacks... broke my heart, I am most excited to relocate into Kayletshia.
Anyway, I've got to go its late and im very tired, but just wanted to let you know that we made it safely and its actually happening!!
Oh, but one more thing! We went to a cathedral and walked a labyrinth to give us an example of a mystery and embracing the "process" of everything. It was a great way to start it and relax us. When i got to the center of the labyrinth i prayed for awhile and eventually got up to work my way out, but when i looked up i saw a sign on a skyscraper that said "I call this place home". That was very meaningful to me because of how I was reflecting with God, my heart, and all that's to come! More to follow on that...
After a 5.5 hour train ride from Boston to a 3 hour wait at a JFK ticketing counter to a 15 hour plane ride to Joburg to another 2 hour flight to Cape Town we're finally here! I must admit, it still doesn't seem quiet real, but as the jet lag wears off i think I will LOVE this place.
Today we met our 2nd director, Gordon, for the first time :] He is deep waters and a tender and brilliant man, I am excited to learn from him! We then loaded up the vans and drove into the city to where we will be staying for the next 2 wks, a B&B blocks away from the city center. After a much needed shower and change of clothes we all met and walked around the city, Gordon and Teri helping orient us so we could build a mental map. It was foggy today, so we didn't see Table Mt just yet, but tomorrow I'm hoping! On the way from teh airport i saw my first "Found Object Homes" aka tin shacks... broke my heart, I am most excited to relocate into Kayletshia.
Anyway, I've got to go its late and im very tired, but just wanted to let you know that we made it safely and its actually happening!!
Oh, but one more thing! We went to a cathedral and walked a labyrinth to give us an example of a mystery and embracing the "process" of everything. It was a great way to start it and relax us. When i got to the center of the labyrinth i prayed for awhile and eventually got up to work my way out, but when i looked up i saw a sign on a skyscraper that said "I call this place home". That was very meaningful to me because of how I was reflecting with God, my heart, and all that's to come! More to follow on that...
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
JFK
just a quick note before i leave the US
I've had a lovely few days in Boston with a dear friend! So refreshing and relaxing, I am a blessed woman :D In a few hours I'll be catching a train to NY and shuttling to JFK for my departure to Cape Town!!!
I'm still not able to comprehend that I'll be gone for 2 (quick/long) months, but either way, its happening very soon.
I'll be putting a couple prayer requests in each blog post from now on so here's to start us off:
+ Unity among the team
+ Safe travels
+ Preparing my heart
Thanks and the next post will come from Cape Town!
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